maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
