Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
