Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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