i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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