Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
