yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
