If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
