eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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