I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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