My friends, they love my intelligence
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
