Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
