I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
