Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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