even my farts smell like vagina
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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