I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
