I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
