lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if only i could text you this smell
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
