your room smells of hookers.
And success
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize