Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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