That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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