There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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