i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
