porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
