have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
