Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
