And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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