She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
