i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
