What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
