TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
