i permit you to call me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
