i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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