I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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