ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
