Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
