dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
