Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
