How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
