Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
