Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
