I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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