i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
