you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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