There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
