Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
