if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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