K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
