That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
