Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
