Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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