So drunk, too bad you don't want this
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
